As my latest contribution to the ongoing discussion about the ethics and rhetoric of Turnitin.com, I present several stanzas from the recently-unearthed "Ballad of Mike Edwards and the Plagiarism Detection Service."

Mike Edwards's Dean, Captain Tommy
Had a squared-away drive to succeed.
Loved Mike Edwards like his only blessed son.
Said, "I'll get you any funding that you need,"
Lawd, Lawd.
Said "I'll get you any funding that you need."

PDS salesman said to Captain Tommy,
"I think your students might try to plagiarize.
Let me tell you 'bout a tool that'll help enforce the rule,
And catch those cheaters by surprise,
Lawd, lawd.
It'll catch those cheaters by surprise." 

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